It could be hormonal.
It could be because I'm tired.
Or it could be because the Lord is trying to break me--to make me see myself, and my sins, through the clarity of His Word and those who teach and preach it. And I might just be seeing it.
I hope it is the latter. But I really don't know, because I've felt this way before and the regret (I'm pretty sure that's all it was) passed and nothing changed. I don't want that to happen.
So I'm writing this out, for the world to see. So maybe, if it's just "that time of the month," I will still have it in black and white. And I can reflect on it.
And I can confess it again.
And I can repent again.
And, eventually, I can see how far I have come, with His help.
^^^^^^^^^^
Heavenly Father, I am a sinner.
I care more about what others think than what You think.
I hate my sin - but for all the wrong reasons.
I am more disturbed by my son's behavior in public than I am in private.
I crave the praise of others.
I am more concerned with my own comfort than with teaching my children Your ways.
I get frustrated with others' transgressions, but blow off my own.
I serve You for the earthly accolades.
I think I can do it myself.
I would rather complain to others than turn to You.
I put my own selfish desires above Yours, and those who are closest to me.
For these sins, oh forgiving God, forgive me, pardon me, grant me atonement. And help me to truly repent from each of them.
Paving Rough Roads With God's Presence
JO, you are precious...to me, to your husband and children, to your family and friends, and especially precious to the Lord.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being such a strong and faithful friend.
Vonnie
Joanne, I think God is moving His people to repentance, to getting away from religion and rituals and entering into a relationship with Him. Every where I turn I'm encountering teaching and admonition on my sins and my walk with God. I feel Him telling me that I need to get serious about repentance, that I can't invite Jesus into my life as Lord and King and not get rid of the sin. I say all this to let you know that you're not alone, that I see this going on all around me with so many of my Christian friends and myself. God is moving. It's exciting and terrifying all at the same time. God bless you my friend. This just shows that you are beloved of God and that He intends to use you more deeply than you can imagine! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing from your heart! Like you I don't know if it's hormonal or not, but I sure needed to read this today! Love you precious friend, praying for you! Hugs, Rita
ReplyDeleteYou aren't alone, my dearest. I confessed and prayed along with you.
ReplyDeleteLove
Cat
I can certainly relate to this, Jo. So much emotion and hormones raging - are we teenagers, or what?
ReplyDeleteGod's doing a work, like Hanne said. So many going through their own SELAH moments.
We sang a song today in church, Inside Out. I'm going to put the YouTube video on FB. I could really relate to it, maybe you can to.
"From the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out..."
Love you, Jo.
Joanne, thank you for sharing that. It's not always easy to confront what's really going on behind our smile. Thank God that it's in our humbleness and brokenness that the Lord is sure to find us. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteDebbie
Oh Jo.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me...
Love you!
On the journey alongside you...learning to let Him have His way with me. Love you dearly, my sis. You have encouraged me through many a rough day, and I know He's behind it, working through you. May He fill you with true peace and encouragement today.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone, precious sister. Thank you for the honest confession of your soul. It will be a good touch point in the days to come.
ReplyDeleteMe loves you!
peace~elaine
Your honesty and transparency is encouraging Joann. It goes so well with my the message today. We don't have to hide anything from God-not our sin, shortcomings, hang ups, etc. He wants to help us right where we are and when we let Him in it's in those exact places that He bring us victory. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, dear Jo. God is refining so many of us that it makes me super anxious to see His ultimate plan.
ReplyDeleteHumbly we come, Lord...cleanse us, restore us and use us for Your glory.
I once read a quote that was close to this: "A saint is one who sins less and less and confesses more and more."
ReplyDeleteThe longer I live with Jesus, the more I return to a prayer similar to the one you expressed today. Thank God! He is merciful and full of compassion. He extends His grace and power moment by moment. I want to live with open hands, open heart, open eyes....in His power, for His glory.
Amen, so humbling
ReplyDeleteThe word that keeps coming to mind, for me, is surrender. Total and complete surrender of all my wants, needs even, thoughts and feelings. It's tough, but knowing we are in this race together adds strength somehow.
ReplyDeleteI would like to exchange links with your site www.blogger.com
ReplyDeleteIs this possible?